It would really be a shame if something terrible were to happen to you while you were surfing the net, wouldn't it? Like this one guy who fell down the stairs. Or the lady who fell out of her third story window. These are examples of people who didn't have the foresight to purchase protection from my organization to prevent such atrocities.
Is it worth the risk to continue recklessly browsing page after page without the security of knowing you're safe from having your kneecaps smashed with a hammer? Of course it's not. And there's never been a better time to get insurance from us, because we now offer three exciting donation levels:
the Gold plan: any amount up to $1 = basic protection for those on a budget
the Platinum plan: $1 - $5 = upgraded protection with added kneecap insurance
the Diamond plan: $5 and up = advanced protection + kneecap /limb/finger insurance
Peace of mind is just one click away (then several more)